Notes from this week's podcast: Transformed Tuesday with Benitha Mathews

Benitha: My husband went home to be with the Lord Thanksgiving Day 2024. We were married for 39 years and looking forward to 40 years. He had been selected as a Hall of Fame inductee for basketball as a coach. He was excited! 

Jo: You did everything together. But God knew this moment. And you've learned to trust God in that moment and know that all of it was to bring Him glory. It takes time going through grieving. 

As you look back, over the year, how do you see some things that God had aligned for your life to prepare you for the moment to begin to walk through the grief that you would suffer -- to get through it and closer to God?

Benitha: My niece Tiffany invited me to the Transformed Brunch. What am I going to do? I no longer have my husband with me. 

Jo: How faithful God was at the timing, to meet you at your point of need. 

What was the first thing that you remember getting into the Word together with other godly women that was like a WOW moment for you? It was like God met you right there in the grief of losing your husband. 

Benitha: There were several WOW moments, especially as we get deeper into the class. But initially, as everyone was introducing themselves, everyone had the same desire, and the same need, and the same want -- to get to know who God is and to get in His Word. 

I have always been in the Word of God. However, this experience at His Vessel, your teaching, Jo . . . We needed to get to know God. God was a God of order and once we get to know God, we would know our purpose in God. 

You began to teach on the intimacy of knowing God. Out of the past year, I've only missed two times of getting up in the morning, spending time with the Father. That is something that I long for, my heart loves to do. It has literally transformed me. Your Transformed Brunch has transformed me. 

Jo: In the time of grieving, of losing your husband, how sweet of God to replace the presence of your husband but yet He replaced it with Him, His presence! God doesn't waste a thing. 

Benitha: His mother went home to be with the Lord in April. Six months later, our oldest son (49 years old) went home to be with the Lord. 

God desires this time with us. But, Jo, I need it for me. 

Jo: You learned that God desires for Him to be with, but you needed to be with God. 

Benitha: There are times that the Holy Spirit will wake me up at midnight or 2am. When I get up, before I do anything, that is my time to spend with Him before I begin the day. The teaching you taught in intimacy has changed my life so much. I have to have it. 

Jo: You are longing to be in God's presence and that is what He created us for -- to be with Him, to fellowship with Him, to be in relationship with Him. You would encourage them: lean into God. God is leaning into you. Lean into Him. No matter where you are in your relationship with God, go deeper. 

Benitha: There are so many things that He has revealed to me. Regarding my husband's death: I do not like to question God about certain things that happened. Who am I to tell You when to take someone from this earth? The Holy Spirit showed me that He is the one that's in control and that we're here for His glory. And I pray that my husband's life glorified God. 

I'm here as long as God would have me, and that's exactly what I want to do -- to have my life glorify God, which is what you taught. 

Jo: When we go through grief, we feel the loneliness, emptiness, we think of us/me. But at some point, God gave you the grace to turn it upward and look at God and see that this is for His glory. He is sovereign. He's making you better through it. You have that assurance. You've gotten closer to God and you're able to speak out and help other people, even in this grief. 

Benitha: I ask the Holy Spirit all the time: How is it that you want me to be a witness for you? 

I will bless the Lord at all times and His praise shall continually be in my mouth. 

Jo: To do that, you have to be in the Word. You have to know God, know what does bless Him. You have a greater sense of praise for God. When we start to praise God, that's how we're strengthened in the matter because it gets our eyes off of us and our physical circumstances, and really gets us focused on God and that's how we can bring Him glory. 

Being around other Christian people -- how important was that for you? to get through this grieving

Who did you encounter? And why were other Christian friends important for you to be around during that time?

Benitha: There were some old friends that reappeared that showed how much they cared for me, loved me by spending time with me, daily sending me texts and scriptures from the Word of God. Bishop Kyle, Apostle Kemi, the women's ministry, people that I attend church, my immediate family were there for me all the time, praying with me, for me. They loved and cared for me. The more you are around people who love God and talk about God, you can relate to that and that is one way of strengthening yourself. 

God gave me a new word of grateful. 

I am getting to know Him for who He is and the effect that He is having on my life. 

Jo: That is the Word coming alive. You're grateful because you have leaned into God. You have found God in a more intimate way. Rather than become bitter, you have become better. You reached out to God and God was there. You leaned back on Him What a testimony! 

How can we not fall into the trap of becoming isolated? from our friends or from God?

Benitha: Find your way to God. Find someone you know that is walking the life, living the life of holiness, someone you can call who will pray for you that can help you not to become so isolated, praying for deliverance of that grieving spirit, mourning spirit. 

Ask God to help you get up to find a church, to hear the Word. Find yourself in the Word of God for healing. 

Scripture for further study: Psalm 34, 1 Thessalonians 5:18